Oh hey, LiveJournal! You're a thing I tend to check and forget that I can contribute to!
Since I pretty much have not updated, I'm going to do a throwback to 17 year old Arin and give you my year in review!
Christmas season at the mall was finally over, hooray! I was working at Vitamin World and Motherhood Maternity and still living with Ria. Our lease was expiring at the end of the month, so I found a new place to live and moved on the 25th. Brad was being an absolute darling that month too, so it was mostly smooth sailing with some minor financial troubles, what with buying furniture to fill a new place, as well as various deposits and turning on of services. But really, January was peaceful. And Mass Effect 2 came out! In less awesome news, I switched birth control pills and they screwed with me MAJORLY. I didn't get my period for 2 months, to be exact. I was taking pregnancy tests every week and freaking out, and keeping all of this a secret from Brad. After all, the tests kept coming back negative, right? No reason to upset him over nothing. I didn't wind up telling him until August, actually. Scary, scary time though.
Oh, February. I will always hate you. You're a big jerk. Brad got all distant. Working at Motherhood was driving me to the brink, my great aunt was driving me batty, and I couldn't even go take a walk because ahhhhhhhhh cold! I hate you, February. You suck.
Okay, Motherhood. That's it. You can screw off. I hate children and I hate pregnant bitches. QUIT! Felt amazingly great.God that place sucked. Increase of Vitamin hours! Was able to start walking again, which is one of the most calming, amazing things I can do for myself. Brad-things were getting back to a normal-ish place for us (we're weird) and in general, things were looking much up-ier than February.
Tried to get workout motivation back. Didn't work. Went to Fulton for Islander. Not bad! ..... for a day, then I started to go crazy and left. No thanks, Fulton. I do not miss you. First started to go into what become a series of a few jealous-crazy issues with Brad. As in, I got myself so stressed out and upset that I couldn't keep food down for a week and he thought I was pregnant. Awesome! I got to hang out with MK more this month, and I got Kristin back in my life! Hooray! (Dumping Patrick is now the most awesome thing two of my best friends has done!)
Clusterfuck. Still couldn't get motivated to work out - it's hard when you've gotten skinny - and working long hours didn't help. I like my job well enough, but there are some days when I just want to throttle all my customers. That was pretty much every day in May, and I had to go to this laaaaaame assistant manager conference in North St Louis and that was AWFUL and uuuuuuggggggggghhhhhh. Brad-things were good for most of the month, and then we got in a fight over what was basically nothing, and it did two things: showed me he cared more than I thought he did, and terrified me. I made some really rocking Oreo cupcakes though .... Oh, and LOST ended. Much sadness.
He went on vacation for 10 days and didn't talk to me once during it. Welcome to me Arin having a nervous breakdown! We were barely talking when he got back, and everything felt awful until he showed up at BWW while I was there with Lindsay, Jake, and some of their friends. By the end of the night we were making out in the parking lot. It was the first time we'd ever done ANYTHING in front of other people, other than hug. I was rather proud. We made a step! Lindsay and I went down to the Ozarks for a mini-vacation when I had a weekend off and that was nice. We had fun, and I got to wear my new bikini, which is way cute.
I slept on my couch for most of this month. Odd fact about me. Really uneventful. I work, I see people, the end. Lots of long walks and time for thinking about being restless ....
Went down to Farmington for Carla (formerly Hawkins) wedding reception. AWKWARD!!!!!! I knew Kristin and Carla's mom. The end. Other than that, this month was more of the same. My life functioned on a mostly even keel this year.
This was the month things with Brad and I went to where we are now, which is pure awesome. He went on a trip to Chicago with some friends to work on their photography/documentary, and I guess it made him realize he misses me when I'm not around? I have no clue. I know that he was gone for 5 days and he text me at 9 AM to wake me up when they all went to work and would text me all day until I was passing out at 2 AM. He started calling me "baby love muffin." Basically, he lost his mind, I think, but I'm not complaining. I gave him his birthday present (all-expenses paid trip to Green Bay in November for a Packers game; he'd mentioned once last year that it was one of his dreams to see a game at Lambeau before he died, so decided to make one of his dreams come true and blew my whole savings account making sure it happened) and he was THRILLED. I, in turn, was thrilled. And I finally told him I love him, which went much smoother than expected, with him telling me he'd been thinking about telling me the same thing the whole time he was gone. After blowing through my savings account in such a manner, I started thinking about getting a second job again. Then I didn't put much effort into it because really, I was content with life.
In October I gave myself goals! I started working out consistently again by creating a cardio-strength interval for myself that I do while watching SportsCenter (Hi, my name is Arin, and I'm an ESPNaholic ... ) I replaced the broken started in my car, which had made me walk to work for a month. I live less than a mile from work so it wasn't a huge deal, but with the weather cooling off I wanted my car back. I decided to do that whole second job thing and put in applications. I made myself a bitchin R2-D2 Halloween costume (Pictures can be viewed here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2020277&id=188100358&l=70d4bbc2f3 ) which is something I'd been talking about doing for 2 years and finally made happen. And my final plan was to enjoy my birthday. This does not happen often, but I was determined. I planned a bowling party, because I'm cool, and it actually went pretty well. Minor bumps because Lindsay's boyfriend is a total douchewad and always tries to start trouble between Brad and I, but I was smoothed over. So, I guess that means I turned 25. I'm old. Old, old, old. I stopped really being friends with Lindsay this month because that's how much I can't stand her boyfriend. Like, seriously, when Mike-Kyle and I showed up for her party together, he freaked out about my "new boyfriend." Jake, you're a moron. I'm wild about Brad. It's not changing. Kristin, Chalmers, Jeanette and I went the Landing for Halloween, and I witnessed Jeanette getting fall-down, incapable of walking drunk. To think, we were all the good kids in high school!
To Green Bay Brad and I went! Three days together and 16 hours in a car .... and we still like each other. That was sort of a test, and we passed it, and had a really, really nice time while we were up there. The game was great, and the atmosphere was FANTASTIC. I love the Rams unconditionally, and I'm used to people making fun of me for that. In Green Bay on Sunday, I did not see a single person NOT in Packers gear. That is a football town, and I wish St Louis would show the Rams that kind of love and respect. Oh well, if no one else will, I'll love them enough to make up for it. I moved off the point, which was just that Green Bay couldn't have been better. It was worth all of the money and the saving and the not buying groceries and starving. I'm not being sarcastic - I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I came back and got a seasonal gig at Victoria's Secret, which is .... well, it's extra money for Christmas. I worked 13 hours on Black Friday and wanted to die, but I've been able to get some really great gifts for some really deserving people, so I shouldn't complain.
This month has been hectic. Always, always at the mall, at Brad's, or watching ESPN, basically. I haven't had much time for friends, and none for video games! I have been keeping with my workout - Monday through Friday! - but I've been sorta holiday-eating. No big, since I was way underwieight at 112, actually, but still. Kristin and I had an ice cream date to discuss WTF are we doing with out lives, which is a damn good question, since I've been at a job that I have no intention of staying at for going on 2 years now. Make no mistake, I planned to move back to San Diego last year. I stayed for Brad. I do not, even for a second, regret that. But I would like to get the hell out of this rut. Christmas is at the end of this week, and I'm excited. My Mom and Devan are supposed to come up here and I'm going to make Christmas dinner for all of us. I've gotten really interested in cooking - when my TV isn't on ESPN, it's on Food Network - and I have some great recipes planned. The end of the month should be calm, although I did just buy a really spectacular dress that I would like to find something to do with on New Years Eve. New years is my favorite holiday, and I want to spend it with Brad, but us making plans is always sketchy. We really have to fall into them, and I'm hoping to fall. In my amazing dress. I told Lindsay to host a party (hilariously, the first thing I've said to her in months) and that'd be cool, but eh. We'll see.
As for next year? I'm going to get the Insanity workout dvds and just destroy my body, basically. I'm super, super excited for that. I'm skinny now and I know that, but I'm not toned and I want to be, and I think this will do it for me. Other than that, I want to find some acting to do. I'm really rusty right now, but I realized not acting is the reason i spent this entire year feeling restless and dissatisfied. When I left WWU I was fed up with it. Maybe I needed the time off, maybe it was a mistake to take it, but I can't stand not acting anymore. I'd love to quit all my jobs and go after it hardcore, but alas, bills must be paid. I have to do something though. Getting into hardcore knock-out shape is a good start, and why I'm really doing it, and I think once a week I'm going to start doing some of my old vocal exercises for an hour or two - it's sad how much I've let my singing voice deteriorate since all my lessons - and just do some reading and movements, get back into it with some old scripts and books and such three times a week for half an hour to an hour. Do that for the two months of Insanity and start looking around and getting a feel for the StL theatre scene, then get some new headshots done and start looking for ... whatever. Modeling, acting, live, film, whatever. Anything to get back in and start padding the resume. Anyone with any leads, LET ME KNOW.
I'm excited for the new year, and trying to get back to living instead of just existing. I know I haven't talked to a lot of you in a while, I'm sorry, I'm bad, but don't ever hesitate to contact me for whatever! I want to reconnect this year too! Yes, I'm busy a lot and I'm sure you guys are too, but I'm sure we can work something out if we really want to! Grab lunch, do some shopping, go for a run (ANDREW! Haha, I can't wait till it gets warm and we can go running together!) or just sit around and gab. The number is 636-208-7245. Use it, well and often.